Forgive
by behappy101
Summary: Male pride is a horrible and vile thing to cross. Warnings: POSSESSIVE EDWARD. Dark Themes.
1. Pride

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

**A/N: Hello my loverlies! Do not fret, for another chapter of 'Wine' will be up shortly. I just decided to post this and I wanted to see what people thought. I originally had it as a one shot but if you want me to continue, I shall. If you are new to me as an author, I have started putting my favorite quotes at the bottom of my chapters to encourage you to tell me what yours are! So… share!**

**Warnings: Violence. Sexual themes. Dark and possessive Edward.**

**Read and Enjoy!**

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_**Forgive**_

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Edward was dizzy.

_Very_ dizzy.

Anger usually made him off kilter.

Hatred usually made him fume.

This was neither of the two.

He raced through the foliage with ease, his misinterpretation of upright hardly hindering his stampede. His feet would have pounded against the forest floor with defaning sound if he had hardly touched it at all. His snarls would have been thunder if he had not let them rumble in his chest. His arms would have snapped trunks if he had not settled for letting them butcher the air.

This shouldn't have happened. This _couldn't_ have happened.

Exiting the forest, he headed for their home.

A surge of dominance rattled his skeleton.

_My_ home.

_My_ wife.

His feet flew faster.

The hinges of the front door were no match to withstand his throw. Plaster crumbled to the ground behind the wood, galvanizing a cloud of white drywall to float about the air. A shriek from upstairs let him know that he had surprised her.

Slowing his pace to a human crawl, he forced his feet to stomp up the stairs, deliberately letting his wife know he was near arrival. Finally, a nervous shout.

"Edward!" Her voice came from the bathroom. "You're home! Give-give me a moment and I'll be right out with you!" Her voice cracked with fear, the shakiness making her words nearly unintelligible.

Standing outside the bathroom door, Edward actually humored her and gave her a moment.

Then swiftly threw the door open.

Bella stood poised above the mirror, makeup scattered all over the marble counter. In her hand she held a bottle of foundation and in the other, what looked like a small paintbrush. The makeup that was on the counter matched the one she held in her hand, basic skin-tone foundation. He knew that she never had acne in her life, affirming what the bottles already told him.

"Edward! I didn't expect you to be home so-"

Silently, he grabbed her arm and yanked her none-to-gently towards him, her soft and fragile body colliding rather solidly with his unyielding one. He turned the faucet on and grabbed a towel, soaking it letting it infiltrate all of the blue cloth's pores.

"Edward? What are you doing?" Fear reeked in her voice.

Pivoting her quickly, he wrapped an arm about her torso and hoisted her onto the counter, shoving the glass bottles out of the way and causing most of them to collide and shatter against the wall. Her sobs of hysteria and pain went unnoticed.

Tearing her camisole off of her delicate shoulders, Edward wrenched the fabric to her waist, leaving her exposed before him. Grabbing the towel, he snaked his arm around her elbows so she couldn't escape him.

Not like she had a chance anyway.

Grabbing the towel, he scrapped it across her seemingly perfect chest, not surprised in the least when the water removed the foundation that covered the bruises.

_Lots_ of bruises.

He didn't stop there.

He efficiently ran the towel across her shoulders and back, rubbing them rather aggressively over areas she tried to turn away from. Small cries and hushed shrieks escaped her delicate mouth when he rubbed it into her tender breasts.

"Edward…please!" Bella was sobbing now.

Edward stopped then. He released the towel from his grip and it fell rather heavily to the floor. It was stained with the makeup, the blue fabric looking as if it had been run through with bleach.

They stayed like that for a while.

Bella's shoulders shook with sobs.

When Edward spoke, his words dripped with rage.

"Were you _ever_ going to tell me Bella?"

She continued to cry.

So he continued.

"I began to wonder why Alice was avoiding me for such a long time. She only ever does that when she doesn't want me to read a thought of hers."

She hiccupped loudly.

"She wouldn't be very good at keeping a thought such as _this_ out of her mind now would she?" He looked at Bella expectantly.

"_Would she_!?"

His shout was so loud and so succinct, he might have doubted that he had ever shouted at all. Bella only seemed to fade more into her ball of fragility, avoiding the dark eyes that would greet her if she ever dared to look up.

Dark bruises blotted the already pale skin of her torso. Her collar bone and shoulders showed random marks of abuse, only getting worse the further down his gaze traveled. Her ribs were obviously bruised but what bothered Edward more, was the fact that on each of Bella's small breasts, were five perfectly spaced oval marks. Tentatively reaching his hands out, he laid each of his fingers in the swelled bruises around her chest.

They nearly matched.

"Did you tell Alice everything Bella?"

She nodded her head adamantly, avoiding his gaze.

"You know, I don't believe you."

Bella's red-blotched eyes snapped up to meet his hardened gaze.

Fear.

It was nearly tangible.

"I-I told her-"

"That you were attacked downtown and that some men harassed you? That they pushed you around but didn't really cause any damage? That they were just a bunch of _drunk fuckers_!" Edward shouted the last part.

He would _never_ forgive them.

"Y-yes. That is I what I told Alice." Bella's voice cracked horribly, clogged by phlegm and tears in her throat.

"Do you get this-" Edward grabbed towards her breasts and motioned towards the bruises, "-from being _pushed around_?"

"Please…" she breathed.

"Please _what_ Bella?" He was fuming now.

"_Forgive me_…"

Silence.

Forgive her?

Edward's grip loosened against her torso.

Who was he to target his wife for the actions of others?

"Bella."

She responded by sobbing loudly.

Gently snaking his arms about her shoulders and knees, he lifted her off the counter and into his cold, awaiting arms. Retreating further into her ball, she fisted the shirt he wore, burying her face into his chest. Bella took in a stuttering breath.

"I-I'm sorry Edward. I never meant to hide it from you. I didn't want you to be mad if I-"

"If you were attacked." He finished numbly.

Wishing he could read her fragile mind, Edward nuzzled his face into her rich hair, breathing deeply and inhaling her delicious scent. In doing so, she stiffened.

Instantly wishing he had not, Edward reeled back, catching in his brain the forever lingering scent of another who had touched her. Who had _violated_ her.

Edward hurriedly inhaled at her hair again, taking in an unneeded lungful of air to discover that there weren't multiple scents that scattered her body as he had read in Alice's mind, but that there was only a single one.

Only one.

Male pride is a horrible and vile thing to cross.

And that bastard just did.

_Forgive me…_

"Edward?" Bella noticed that he was acting different; holding her tighter in his arms, his back arching and his gaze falling into a dark intensity. She shifted uncomfortably and slid her hands about his neck, trying to grab his attention without agitating her bruises.

"Edward? Please, what's wrong?"

He mumbled at a frequency to low for Bella to catch.

"What?"

"Only one…"

Bella's stomach dropped. She tried not to give any indication that she recognized what he was talking about. Ignorant was always the way to act if she wanted to portray innocence.

"Edward? Please look at me."

He did.

She wished he did not.

"He did this to you."

She lied to Alice.

There was only one.

No single human man was capable of the damage he caused to Bella.

_Human man…_

"Forgive me Bella."

Through tears she looked up at him as he swiftly lowered her down.

"W-why?"

He flew out the doors with an incalculable speed.

_Because I can never forgive __**him**__. _

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"**It must be nice to have all the answers."**

–**Cunningham**

"**It must be difficult to have only questions."**

–**Mother Teresa**

_**The Last Days of Judas Iscariot**_** (hysterical, by the way)**

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**A/N: Once again, I'm just getting this out there because I'm tired of it being in my laptop. It's just a brain fart that I wrote in a brief amount of time. If you want me to continue my loverlies than I shall, but if not, then there will be no disappointment.**

**Don't worry my loves, 'Wine' will be updated shortly. LONG chapter ahoy!**

**-behappy101**

**Please review! Tell me if you want me to continue!**


	2. Mouse

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

**A/N: Long wait I know! I'm so shocked by how many people encouraged me to continue with my brain fart! I honestly didn't expect anyone to like it but was pleasantly surprised when I got 42 reviews! **_**Wine**_** will be updated shortly but I am working on college apps so bear with me here. Short Chapter. SOWWY.**

**A/N: I couldn't bring myself to write in explicit detail about what happens to Bella which it the purpose for it being so vague. You can probably fill the blanks in. Sorry lovelies.**

**Warnings: Possessive Edward. Flashback which includes non-consensual acts.**

**Read and Enjoy!**

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_**Forgive**_

_**Chapter 2: Mouse**_

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Bella sat shivering on the counter.

Gathering up the camisole that lay draped around her waist, she tugged the flimsy material until it returned back to its original position, wincing when her shoulder blade came to an awkward angle. Bella couldn't bring herself to be anything but mortified, not only by Edwards reaction-

But the sheer fact that he _knew_ now.

Edward knew he did it.

Bella sensed that somewhere, at that very moment, blood was being shed.

Because of a mistake.

Because of a misunderstanding.

Because of _her_.

Lowering herself down from the counter, Bella trudged back to their vacant bedroom and pulled back the covers of their bed, getting in and curling into a fetal position underneath the large comforter.

Bella felt awful that she didn't tell her husband what had happened. It wasn't even that she shouldn't, it's that she _couldn't_.

The air inside the cocoon of the comforter she created had become hot and uncomfortable. She had the urge to throw it off and gasp fresh oxygen but decided against it. Bella had the strange decency to punish herself for not trusting Edward or herself. He would've found out. She surely must've known that he would.

Denial.

She had become so comfortable in denying the faults of the world that she had started to deny her own husbands abilities. But there was an undeniable comfort that Bella found in wishing that this wasn't real. Denial that the Volturi wouldn't come and announce her dead. Denial that war wasn't upon them. Denial that Edward wasn't after the man who had used her.

Foolishness was never the hanged man's alibi.

Neither was it hers.

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_**Flashback:**_

_The scrawl on the papyrus was elegant as it was simple._

'_2-14.'_

_The Volturi's message was clear._

_Bella's life now had an expiration date. _

_Valentine's day._

_Bella would have cried if the moment allowed for it. The strange desire she once had to become a vampire was dwindling away, dying with the uncertainty that Edward could actually accomplish changing her when the time came. Her mind reeled to pinpoint any emotion in his face at the letter, but could find none. _

_He wouldn't want to talk about it. She knew that this was probably harder for him to deal with then it was for her but still had the desire to discuss it with somebody._

_Anybody._

_Carrying herself on shaky legs, Bella found her cell phone and dialed. He would be able to help her through this mess emotionally once he had gotten over his initial reaction. _

_She was sure he would._

"_I need to see you."_

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_Bella couldn't deny to herself that she missed warmth. It was comforting to have someone to hold her who wasn't always cold to the touch. She never usually minded, but the reminder that the cold was what she would become was too much for her at the moment. But now she was comfortable, despite the fact that she knew it wouldn't last._

"_Valentine's Day?"_

_She nodded. Dying a little at the reminder._

"_That blows."_

_Bella felt slightly more at ease with the vulgarity than an apology. She had only ever gotten apologies from Edward, tiring of them when she saw that he blamed himself._

"_It was going to happen eventually. I just couldn't expect so soon… even right after the-"_

"_Wedding."_

_The arm around her shoulder tightened to the point of pain, but she didn't ask him to let up. This was a human emotion. One that she wasn't sure she would have when she would be changed._

_Bella decided to bask in it._

_Dragging her feet in the dirt below the bench that they sat in was a nice little distraction to the crumbling world around her. Bella suddenly felt a pang of guilt for using him as a distraction. That's all he would ever be for her. A distraction to her world with Edward._

_She couldn't deny it any longer._

"_Bella?"_

_She didn't acknowledge him. Even when his hand moved to the back of her neck she didn't feel it. She was too numb. _

_Bella wasn't offended when the kiss came. She might've expected it but didn't begrudge him for doing so. The kiss was tender but she didn't feel anything. Her heart belonged to Edward and it always would. His hope was dying too, that was the only reason she let him give it to her._

_Bella accepted the kiss as a truce of friendship._

_He didn't._

_Grabbing her arm a little too forcefully, Bella was led back to the car, getting in without a second thought. Now she could go home and go back to Edward, where she always wanted to be and where she belonged._

_When the engine turned off, Bella was jarred from her thoughts, looking around at the forest surrounding them. The first thought that came to Bella was as stupid as it was true._

'This isn't home.'

_A weight on Bella's shoulders caused her gaze to tear to the man above her. He had moved rather quickly and when lips crashed upon hers she was torn from her numbness. Feeling came back in terrifying waves and all of her pent of emotions burst to the surface with that kiss._

_Pushing with all of her force, Bella kicked and punched. This wasn't just the reaction to his hands grabbing her hips or his knuckles painfully kneading her breasts, but everything._

_The Volturi._

_The war._

_The kiss._

_Edward._

_She didn't want this. She never wanted this. Crying and screaming finally brought him from his advance and he looked down upon her broken body before he flew out the door of the car. _

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_Bella remembered a story that she once read when she was younger. _

_It was about two men who were trying to live._

_One of them, she recalls, couldn't have any pets because his brute force would kill them. No matter how softly he pet the mouse, its spine could not withstand the force of his grasp. No matter how gently he cooed the fragile soul back to life, he couldn't understand why it would stay limp._

_Bella felt like the mouse. Too fragile for anyone to hold or carry, yet available for use whether she wanted to or not._

_Bella played with her wedding band._

_Hickory dickory dock…_

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Edward's feet flew faster than they ever had.

For being in a fit of rage, his movements were surprisingly graceful and his mind, startlingly clear. But even so, he snapped a birch, clear from its trunk with his hand. It ached and stung.

Edward rather liked it.

Exiting the forest, he saw up ahead the invisible divide of the land. He never so much as acknowledged it then after. Having never passed the divide before, Edward expected some kind of lightning bolt to come down upon him and strike him for entering forbidden land. When none befell him, he ran faster.

Surely Sam must've sent some of his goons to fetch the invasive vampire from their lands, but when none came, Edward thought that maybe they might've known.

Of course they knew.

Was anything a secret in that homeless clan of theirs?

Filthy beasts.

Damnable hounds.

They knew to stay away.

The house ahead came into his view, taking on the ugliest sight that Edward had ever seen with the bastard standing on the front porch. His shirt was off and his shoulders slumped, his stance not at all taking on one of fight. Edward's chest grew with hatred.

He wanted a fight. He wanted _blood_.

He stopped not twenty feet from the house, breathing as though he hadn't run at all. The scene around him turned red in emotion, fueling his undeniable hatred for the beast standing before him.

Rage.

Pure unadulterated rage.

"_BLACK!"_

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"**Dying is the day worth living for."**

**-Capt. Barbosa **

_**At World's End**_

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**A/N: Well, everyone pretty much guessed it in their reviews of the first chapter. Am I that obvious? Lolz. Wine will be updated shortly do not fret. The story Bella mentions is Of Mice and Men. 'Tis very good.**

**Review and tell me to continue! (and also what you think!)**

**-behappy101**

**P.S. 'This isn't home' wasn't meant to be funny. But... that didn't really work. Oh vell!**


	3. Down

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**A/N: Fanfiction is being a jerk and not letting me load the 11****th**** chapter of 'Wine' for some reason or another. I shall investigate and hopefully get that chapter up by this weekend. But because 'Forgive' is working, I'll post this now. Danka! I am not a Jacob hater. Don't insult me because you don't like my plot. But for those who do, here is a long overdo update! Huzzah!**

**A/N: And because I want to post more quotes (being the selfish person I am) I will put them at the beginning and end of each chapter. **

**Warnings: Cursing. (I don't like to use it.) Violence. Possessive Edward.**

**Read and Enjoy!**

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_**Forgive**_

_**Chapter 3: Down**_

"**All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you."**

**-Gandalf **_**The Lord of the Rings**_

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_Hickory dickory dock._

The punch vibrated through his bones.

_The mouse ran up the clock._

He was sure that his nose was broken if the blood was any indication.

_The clock struck one and the mouse- something or other._

The cool ground that met his back was a surprising comfort.

_Hickory-_

Punch.

_Fuck it._

Jacob was never good at remembering nursery rhymes. Even in his primary school he never was much for the chants and the repetition that the others seemed to enjoy. He probably attributed it to the mild attention deficit the doctor told him he had. Not that it stopped him anyhow. Jacob was a smart kid. He always was. There was always the little problem he had of applying himself. His teachers always found him to be a little distant though. Jacob was a smart kid.

He always was.

Punch.

Jacob heard the familiar sound of ribs cracking.

Boiling blood flew from his lips and into the ground where it steamed, coating the earth in an awful stain. He was sure he hadn't been in so much pain before but it didn't bother him. This was its retribution. God dammed as it was.

"You are a bastard."

Jacob opened his swollen eyes too see that the vampire wasn't fuming. It was crying, or as much as it could given it couldn't shed tears. Jacob opened his thoughts.

'_Question.'_

It gripped its cold hands around his neck.

"Answer."

'_Why do you love her?'_

It stopped squeezing but didn't remove its hands. The smell bothered him.

"Because she accepts me as who I am and loves me despite it."

'_Than do I deserve any less than you?_'

It released his neck and took a few staggering steps back. Hatred replaced its expression of woe.

"You deserve nothing."

'_Not even your forgiveness?'_

"Least of all, that."

'_She would ask you to forgive me.'_

"She asked to forgive herself."

Jacob started. He didn't expect that. A slow growing pit of grief and self-loathing spread in his stomach.

'_And have you?'_

The hands returned around his neck, effectively cutting off his air.

"Her actions do not prompt a need for forgiveness."

'_Then punish me.'_

Its hand reeled back in power, fisted in a prelude as to the pain that would come.

"Believe me-"

_Ring around the rosies._

"I intend to."

_Pockets full of posies._

_Ashes._

_Ashes._

_We all fall-_

_His fist flew._

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Edward stunk worse than he had ever remembered.

Blood coated his shirt and his knuckles, smelling like dog and other unmentionable substances. Did those hounds ever bathe? Edward didn't think so. The blood made him angry. Made him fume. Why couldn't _he_ bleed? Was he not worthy of the life that was flowing through _their_ veins? He touched a stain that had flown to his shirt.

Still hot.

And _alive_.

Edward raced to through the forest, through with any more violence for the day given how much blood he had shed. He made his way up to the patio of their house and flew through the house to the bathroom as a sanctuary. He stood in front of the mirror, coated in blood, finding that he wished it was _his_ blood, and not the hounds.

His eyes stung harshly with the tears that would never fall.

Was _he_ not worthy of tears?

Hurriedly turning the facet on and splashing warm water into his stinging eyes Edward chanced a look up.

Tears seemingly ran down his face, pooling in the blood of his shirt that he might've mistaken as his. Edward couldn't remember a time where he felt more-

Alive.

Memories flashed back to when he had been in the burning stages of becoming a vampire.

That must've been the ultimate irony.

The closer one feels to death, the more _alive_ they feel.

Edward almost wished he could go on burning forever now. Just to have that feeling and know that he would ever loose it. To be alive. Edward scoffed.

He never thought he would envy that dog.

And yet, how similar they were.

'_Than do I deserve any less then you?'_

Bella loved them both despite their natures and what they were. Was all he had going against the hound was that they had a physical one? Is that all he had to claim? The dog was alive, and the same age as her, why hadn't she claimed his love? Weren't they on the verge of physical?

_They_ teetered on the verge.

_He_ pushed them over.

Rage grew within him again.

Against _her_ will.

Black wasn't willing to wait. He wasn't willing to give her time to adjust. Well, he can't go on waiting-

Edward started. He had the one thing the hound didn't. He had the one thing he couldn't posses. Although Black was alive, Edward had-

_Forever_.

Edward suddenly felt more at peace with himself. Bella would soon be his, forever, and would stay with him. Husband and wife. Black was just a fleeting moment in time if Edward thought about it in the long run. Despite whether Bella decided to forgive the dog or not, he would die.

While they lived on.

Returning his gaze to the mirror above, he suddenly became repulsed by the sobbing and bleeding figure starring back at him. Supporting himself on the marble counter and leaning in close to his reflection, Edward steeled himself and spoke.

"You are fleeting."

Turning around to the rest of the bathroom, Edward headed towards the shower to rid himself of the stinking and crusty blood that had now stained his shirt, pants and body. He could hear Bella shifting in her position on the bed. Inhaling deeply, Edward sensed her scent and a wave of stale air. He sighed. He really disliked it when she suffocated herself like that.

Turning on the facet of the shower, he rid himself of the stench, the blood and the life that cling to him, letting if sink into the drain while he remained.

Stepping out of the shower, he saw the petite figure in the doorway clutching to the oversized sweatshirt she wore. Grabbing a towel and quickly running it over his figure he threw it into the laundry basket that stood near the door. He walked head on towards the threshold with his head held high.

There was nothing that warranted shame.

Bella looked at him with tears in her eyes. Eyes that held all the life and beauty that he had come to love and hold dear. He crouched down and encircled her waist with his powerful arms, holding her tight while she grasped his shoulders.

Could he take away her life?

Could he bound her to forever?

"I love you Edward."

He clutched her fragile body closer.

"I love you too Bella."

"Did you kill him?"

The question might've sounded amusing on any other day.

"I don't think so."

Bella huffed loudly and her next words as if they were on the brink of tears.

"I'm so tired of being weak. I can never look after myself and I get myself into so much trouble."

"What happened to you Bella, that wasn't your fault."

"I was foolish. Never again." She nuzzled into his shoulder.

Moving his lips to her neck Edward hoisted her up into his arms, carrying her with ease to the marble counter. He tilted her neck slightly.

"Edward?"

"It will be the fourteenth soon."

Realization struck Bella as what he was implying.

"I can take you away from weakness. From death. There wont be anymore fear."

Edward lowered his voice, a sound of pain creeping into his register.

"We can be together Bella. _Forever_."

Bella cradled his bare neck and nodded.

_Forever_.

_Ring around the rosies._

_Their pockets full of posies._

_Ashes._

_Ashes._

_Watch them as they all fall-_

_Down._

While we stand.

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"**What are we holding onto Sam?"**

_**-Frodo**_

"**That there is some good in this world Mr. Frodo… and it's worth fighting for."**

_**-Sam**_

_**The Lord of the Rings Two Towers**_

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A/N: Still working on uploading 'Wine'. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you hadn't noticed, yes, I HAVE been watching Lord of the Rings. So good. Anyway,

REVIEW! Please? i thoroughly enjoy them.

-behappy101


	4. Wedding Cake Bride

**A/N: I'm so sorry readers! I know it isn't much of an excuse, but school has been murder and life (although perfect at the moment) is a little overwhelming. I have some interesting news for you all: I'm writing a book. Crazy yeah? I got an offer from a publisher and I'm working on it already. (Hence the really long updates) hehe. I'm graduating in a week 8****th**** in my class and am ready to be a Trojan! Yeah! Fight On! I hope I haven't lost you all with my stories, and I apologize. ALL of them will be continued, and NO story of mine will be left behind. This summer I will update and continue writing my book. Thank you!**

**Warnings: Sexual Content. And (yet again) Dark Edward. **

**Read and Enjoy!**

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_**Forgive**_

_**Chapter 4: Wedding Cake Bride**_

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There isn't much left now.

It was a strange realization to come to given the circumstances. Bella had never thought of it before. One reads about blood draining from one's body from fear, but it never goes away does it? Your blood doesn't really drain away, you just feel cold. That's it. It was the cold. Blood is warm, and fear is cold. Blood is warm, death is cold. But in death, there isn't any fear is there? When blood isn't a necessity what use is there for warmth? Will she ever be warm?

No. Not anymore.

Bella strained her memory to remember whenever she could've been the coldest. All she could do was imagine the freezing, but it was a lost cause. She was too logical a person to trick her body to believe that it was cold.

Her wedding night. Yes. That was the coldest.

When Bella was little, she imagined the grandest and most beautiful of all weddings for herself. There would be white everywhere and the guests would be pristine and groomed. Her intended husband would stand at the altar in a white suit with his hands folded calmly and his gaze of wonder and love. He would remain strong for her, as she knew that undoubtedly she would cry. It would be beautiful. It would be perfect.

She would be a wedding cake bride.

But no, her groom was in black, and she didn't want to be there.

She scolded herself. _'Think about the cold… Think about the cold…'_

Her wedding night wasn't all what she expected either. A little Bella imagined her wedding night before she knew about consummation. After the wedding, they would indeed be tired. After saying thank you to all their guests, they would go up to their rooms and go to sleep. Then they would be happy together forever.

But no, her groom was in black, and she wasn't ready.

Cuddling with Edward up until their marriage was a little problematic. She had never had so many colds in her life but to be near him was worth it. He didn't want it. She did. Sex was a bargain. It wasn't a feeling she could coerce out of him. It was an agenda. Shaking, she told herself to think about the cold. Pleasure and cold were a strange combination to intertwine. Her blood pounded in her veins, while his remained dry. His cold body was out of place here, and hers had no business being beneath the perfectly sculpted Adonis.

But she was. And he did.

She had never been so cold in her life.

His body moved to a graceful rhythm while hers was subjected to involuntary jerks and noises. His breath was even and calculated while hers was choppy and interrupted by gasps. She knew it would hurt. She had heard the stories. Bella felt selfish knowing that she didn't want Edward to let go. If he had truly let go, where would she be? What if they both moved involuntarily? What if they had both lost breath and got dizzy? Bella thought about the bruises around her waist and thighs that night. They would heal and he would learn his strength with her.

Her groom was in black, and she was scared.

Not long ago, Bella imagined an immortal couple. They would be happy lovers forever with nothing in their way. They would learn all the world's languages and travel, never living any one place for too long. They would then be able to let go with one another without fear of bruises and silly mortal pain.

But no, her groom was in black, and he was barring his teeth.

Two days ago, Bella was attacked. No, wrong word. Taken advantage of. She was filled with fear and pain. Fear that made her blood drain from her body. No, wrong feeling. Made her cold. That was it.

Her husband defended her. Her husband nearly took the boy's life. This was not a happily ever after. She was not a wedding cake bride.

Her groom was in black, and he's leaning over her.

Her groom was in black, and he's apologizing.

Her groom was in black, and his teeth have sunk into her breast.

Bella was not a wedding cake bride. She was burning, and clinging to a cold memory.

There isn't much left now.

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Edward watched Bella burn. He couldn't stand the absolute loathing that his mind reeled on him. How could he subject his love to such a fate? How can he watch her writhe and scream on the table when he knew he was the cause? Edward could still taste the blood on tongue. Could she forgive him?

Edward remembered the moment he had bitten into Bella's breast. It was an inconspicuous place, but also selfish on his part. He wanted to see her silver scar when he made love to her. It was a primal and sexual urge, vulgar by all means, but Edward had been denying himself the urges for over a century. Why not indulge now when it was against _his_ will to change her? Bella would stop burning four days before their arrival. It was only a week he had now.

It took the dog to push him.

Edward had considered letting Alice do it for the longest time, but Bella was his. _His_. Everyone would know she was his. He would not be ridiculed for the task he could not handle. The dog could watch her live and know that she belonged to Edward.

"Edward?" Emmett called into the room. Never tearing his gaze from Bella's form, and never looking up to acknowledge his brother, Edward tilted his head as means of an answer.

Emmett approached the vampire, noticing his position not inches away from Bella's body with his hands folded under his chin and his elbows on his knees. "I brought food." Reaching into his jacket, he handed to Edward a water bottle filled with blood.

"Thanks." Edward took the plastic bottle and drank its contents, always watching Bella's position on the bed, making sure she wouldn't fall off and hurt herself.

Edward had informed his family of the decision to change Bella in his own home. He asked them to keep their distance during her change except for Emmett. He figured that Emmett could've tackled him if Edward couldn't have just one bite. Edward needed someone to help him stay away from her body, especially after tasting her blood. He would never admit it to his brother, but her blood aroused him to the point of pain. It was a strange thing to acknowledge at such a time, but now, watching her body arch and writhe around on their large bed tortured him even more.

"Emmett, would you tell Carlisle of Bella's progression? I'm sure he would like to know how she is doing." Edward said in a strained voice.

Walking to the door, Emmett stopped and turned to Edward, "You know Black is almost healed?" Edward didn't respond, so Emmett continued. "Carlisle is almost done treating him, but I don't want him to, ya know?"

Edward nodded once.

"Are you going to be okay?"

Edward didn't so much nod as tilt his head again. Shortly thereafter, the door closed shut.

He wasn't okay. Black was still out there and nearly back to health while he watched his Bella die. That small scrap of paper held everyone's fate in the palm of a sadistic and evil vampire. Damn to the hell he will never see.

Standing up, Edward walked to Bella's side. She wore a tank top and a pair of panties for modesty when Emmett arrived, but now that he was gone, Edward could remove them. For the majority of the three days Edward endured his transformation, he wished that someone would remove his clothes. They were claustrophobic and sweltering, and he had hoped that Bella would appreciate the air despite her exposure.

Bella bucked her hips into the air and shouted out again. While watching her, Edward found it astonishing that the reactions to pleasure and pain are very nearly the same. Perhaps they were. He knew that he had hurt her on their wedding night. He also knew that he hurt her many times there after despite his best attempts to keep control. He had not come close to any physical release with Bella for the time that they have been married. Edward wasn't moving nearly as fast or as violently as he would've needed to climax.

Rough lovemaking to Bella was the softest lovemaking to him. A loving touch to him was a violent hold to her. They physically could not be together. They just did not belong. It was the equivalent to touching a wafer with a sludge hammer; impossible without disastrous results.

Edward raised his hand to touch Bella's hair, comforting her as tears rolled down her face and she shouted silent screams. He shushed her and kissed her forehead, whispering affectionate words to her, doubting she could hear or feel him. He would protect her. Black had made him realize just how important she was to him. Even though he couldn't have her physically, he didn't want anyone else to touch her.

Edward was becoming selfish in defense of Bella. Black would never touch her again. No one would ever touch her again.

But him.

He would leave Bella momentarily and finish Black off. A simple task really, Emmett said he wasn't even healed yet. Black would be defenseless with no other dogs to protect him. The Cullen's were already against healing him; it wouldn't take much to convince them to put him down.

Grabbing the empty water bottle from the chair, Edward made leave to go when Bella made a noise.

"Edward… please…" Her voice was shrill and painful to listen to, although so quiet he might've missed it. Racing back to her bed side, Edward leaned near the screaming girl and cooed in her ear.

"Make it…" She looked pained and then screamed, "…_stop_!"

Edward thought about cradling her convulsing body with his cold arms and decided it was worth a shot. He took off his clothes and got in bed with her, covering as much of the expanse of her skin as he could, hating himself as it aroused him.

It was wrong to want her now of all times but he couldn't help it. Pain and pleasure were so similar an emotion, he wasn't even aware of his own internal pain.

Bella, although still screaming and moving erratically, made an obvious attempt to get closer to the unknown cool, knowing that it wouldn't help very much, or if at all.

"I'll protect you. I will never let go again" He cradled her closer. "I'll protect you."

Her groom was in black, and she will never be a wedding cake bride.

"I promise."

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"_**Only the victorious write the history books."**_

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**A/N: Please review, it is one of a few joys I have. Read _Bad Dreams_****! I was disappointed when nobody read it. *sad face* Updates will come sooner and I apologize for the wait! Bye loverlies!**

**-behappy101**


	5. Awake

Disclaimer: Pffsh. I wish.

A/N: Author's note is at end because I talk too much.

Warnings: Sexiness. Dirty Edward mind. Gore if you don't like the drinking blood bit.

READ AND ENJOY!

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_**Forgive**_

_**Chapter 5: Awake**_

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It would be soon.

Edward had prepared for Bella to wake from her burning with care. Emmett had retrieved a dozen or so quarts of blood for her when she awoke and Edward had requested privacy for the two of them. This was their moment. This was their time.

Bella lay on their spacious bed, twisting and crying for Edward, wanting him closer. Edward, however, would keep his distance in the final minutes of her burning, ready for her when she would come to consciousness. He had seen vampires wake before. He did not need to be warned.

Edward watched her body buck and thrash, mentally scolding himself for his desire for her flesh. He couldn't quell the questions that sprang to mind. Would she be ready for him now? Could they finally be together in their lovemaking? Edward winced, remembering how she could never accommodate him or enjoy his flesh within hers, remembering also that he did not enjoy their lovemaking either. He wanted friction when he knew she could not take it. His itch was never meant to be scratched and he stirred at the idea that he could claim her now.

As he always wanted.

His lip quirked up in a coy smile. The threat to Bella had made him wild. Made him possessive and jealous. He touched his lips to feel that he was smirking. The scar shinning on her breast only reiterated what he had already known.

She was his.

Her mind was his.

Her body soon would be.

Edward shook his head. He tried to push the thoughts out of his mind but a particularly dirty one popped into his consciousness before he could suppress it. He clasped a hand over his mouth and whispered the thought into his hand, tasting it on his lips. It had a bitter but altogether irresistible taste. He uncovered his mouth and whispered it again. He had used the word before, but never in such lewd context.

"I want to fuck."

Edward surprised himself and clasped his hand once again over his mouth. Almost giggling wildly when he realized how ridiculous this all was. To remove the thought, Edward raised his hand and hit himself, rather hard, in the temple. Gritting his teeth and opening his eyes to Bella his thoughts were wiped clean when he saw her burning was coming to an end.

Bella had become absolutely still. Her eyes were absolutely blank and her body had the appearance that her blood was drained. It was a more haunting image than a peaceful one. Edward's ears rang from the silence. Reaching beside the chair he sat in, he grabbed a quart sized nalgeen bottle and opened it, preparing for her thirst.

The quiet stillness lasted almost an eternity. Edward could recall the worst of the pain in this moment. It was beyond anything the mind could fathom or the body could endure. It was so incomprehensible that the one burning would be rendered still. Silent.

Dead.

One last heave of Edward's willpower allowed him to last the duration of her finishing. He watched with certain sadness as her body shed its human qualities and gained those of what she now was.

Bella sat up violently in bed.

Vampire.

Bella began hyperventilating immediately. Her eyes lacked any color and her face was scared in pain and defeat. Her body convulsed in dry heaves and she found Edward's face, looking alarmed as her own body rejected her, punishing her. In her new moments of life on the earth in clawing pain she realized what she was.

Her face erupted in sorrow and she began sobbing, her eyes void of any tears that would ever pass her ducts again. Her throat clogged however, her wails far worse than any she emitted while burning.

Edward forced calm and approached Bella with a canteen of blood, extending the contents towards the girl with an appearance of cautious indifference.

"Bella."

Her head snapped towards him and her empty eyes searched him, fear clouding her features as her eyelids fluttered and then focused on the contents in his hand. Bella ran with speed to Edward, touching him quickly across his lips and throat. There was a sense of urgency about her movements.

There was a spilt second of recognition before her body threw another wave of new sensation her way.

Almost as instantaneous as the feeling itself, Bella's hands flew to her throat, clawing at the skin and creating angry marks along her collar. She looked stunned and pained at the same time, her hands not relenting in their attack on her very own throat.

"You're thirsty Bella."

He walked towards her urgently now, unable to take the sight of her harming herself, canteen extended in his hand. Bella retreated in fear and when he had imposed on her to the point where she was in a corner. Her hand flew out and aggressively swatted the canteen away, blood flying out from the open top and coating her arm and the bed in a mess of crimson.

Edward watched in withering control to drink as Bella regarded the length of her arm in wonder. A tentative pink tongue extended past her lips to the thick liquid that was now running down the length of her arm.

A high moan sounded and Bella proceeded to lick the rest of her arm until it was coated only in her clear saliva and venom. She kept licking but when she could find no more of the blood she began biting her arm out of instinct, leaving crescent marks along her forearm and hand.

Edward rushed to her and pulled her arm out of her grasp, picking her up with her legs wrapped around his waist and her arms around his neck. Still in her daze, Bella began biting Edward's neck, causing him to only wince a little as he set her down on the bed where she rolled and began sucking the blood from the sheets.

Edward wasted no time grabbing a bottle and extending his arm in offer to Bella, who took it quickly and drained it of its contents. He continued feeding her, watching as excess blood from the wide rim of the nalgeen bottle drizzled down her lips, neck, collar and between her breasts. His gaze grew heavy as her feeding slowed, her tongue catching the blood on her lips, her eyes not nearly as frantic as it was only moments ago.

Finally, with excess blood to spare in the bottle Bella held, she stopped drinking. Bella sat on the bed with her knees tucked underneath her, her ankles bending out on either side of her hips. Her back was slouched and she held the bottle in both hands, the rim still touching her lips as her eyes looked around curiously. Edward thought with a pang in his heart that her position looked very youthful and innocent.

He shook the thought from his mind.

"Bella?"

Her eyes darted to meet his.

Golden.

Edward wanted to keep Bella ignorant of the pleasures of human blood. It would not be worth feeding on second rate food if she knew that better quality was out there.

"Edward?"

The voice that came from Bella might have reminded Edward of a longing he once had, or an uncertainty. It was pushed so far away from consciousness that he could not.

He walked towards the girl, taking slow conscious steps, feeling as though his feet were trapped in quicksand, releasing reluctantly from the floor's hold with each pull of his heel. Once he was in arm's length of her, Edward knelt down before her. Bella looked at the bottle in her hands, unaware of what to do with it until she reached out her arms, offering the blood to Edward.

Edward regarded the half bottle for a few moments. He looked into her curious eyes and took the offering, finishing off the bottle with leisurely sips, setting it down when he had finished.

"Thank you." He said.

"Sure." Bella didn't know what to say.

Edward couldn't avoid it.

"It is done."

"Yes." Bella whispered.

"How do you feel?"

Bella thought about her words before she spoke. "Not great."

Nodding, Edward replied, "That will last only a little while."

"Are they coming?" Fear laced her voice.

"Soon."

"Do I need to-" she paused, unable to grasp her words, "do anything?"

"Drink whenever you feel you need to. Even the smallest urges. Would you like more?"

Bella shook her head, looking upset.

"No. I think I may vomit if I do."

"It's strange to get used to."

Bella nodded her head, looking down and realizing that blood had run down her nude form, crossing her arms in front of her chest in some modesty.

A small part of Edward's brain screamed in retaliation. He smashed the thought of her flesh, knowing that her emotional capacity was at its limits.

"Bella?"

Without a word, Bella climbed across the bed and into his lap. It startled Edward that her actions were so forward, her legs on either side of his hips and her arms around his neck. It wasn't meant to spark the fire that it did in Edward, it was simply the comfort that she needed. This was beyond anything she could fathom.

"No one will ever hurt you again Bella." Edward whispered into her ear.

Bella would've sobbed if she could.

"He's only a fleeting moment in time love."

He rubbed her back.

"He will pass."

Bella squeezed Edward's shoulders, seeking comfort in his embrace but forgetting her strength. Edward flinched in foreign pain and grabbed her upper arms, pulling her back until she rested in his lap.

"I can't go back can I?"

Pain.

He could hear it.

"No."

There was an ample pause between them.

"Am I supposed to be colorblind?"

What?

"Colorblind?"

"Yeah."

Edward thought for a moment before he responded, "It may be temporary. We'll ask Carlisle when we see him next."

"Kay."

Bella shifted in his lap. Edward could see the blood still fresh between her breasts and neck. His control of the urge to reach out and lick it from her body was dwindling. He reached his hands to either side of her waist, sliding around and holding her secure. Bella's eyes looked at him in curiosity and confusion.

Edward pulled her body closer and leaned his lips toward her naval, darting his tongue out and reaching for the river of blood that extended up towards her neck.

Bella then did something that shocked him to his very core.

He felt hands on either side of his head, urging him closer as she arched her back into his touch without a sound. Once he had finally reached her neck he leaned to whisper into her ear.

"Bella."

"Will it hurt?" Her voice sounded frantic and afraid, but undeniably wanton.

"Only perhaps a little."

"I love you Edward."

"I love you too Bella."

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"_**The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return."**_

_**-**_Moulin Rouge!

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**A/N: Another chapter. Whew. I can't say I like this chapter very much but I hope you do! So… packing for college is uber scary/frightening. I'm going through so much stuff and have SO much work to do. I'll try and update as often as possible but with 19 units my first semester, please be patient! Finest Wine is giving me such a headache because it was blocked or something on my computer because someone tried to hack into my account. **

**Also, to whoever COPIED AND PASTED 'Period' and posted it as there own, fooey on you! They made an account on livejournal and stole it. FOR SHAME. But some of my faithful reviewers cut them down. *high five* Justice is SWEET. I hope you feel icky inside for a day or two. *sticks tongue out at you***

**ALSO. I posted a story I wrote WAY long ago. Called 'Out of Time'. If you like Draco/Hermione pairing with lots of drama and sexiness, go read. **

**I'll pray to the computer angels to let my upload 'FW' tomorrow or Saturday. *crosses fingers***

**-behappy101**

**Please review! I need to know if anyone is still reading this!**


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